Last week, I was talking to my brother and my parents about college, the most popular topic in my house at the moment. We talked about some possibilities of colleges around the world that I could go to, but after a long chat, another topic came up... what's next? The next thing we were talking about was where I was supposed to go after college, a question that nobody in this world could answer and this is because well, there is no answer.
You see, I've had a crazy life for the past 17 years. this life has consisted in moving country every 2 or 3 years, which has allowed me to know many places, many people and many cultures around the world. Although it's been some unstable years, I wouldn't change this experience for anything in the world. The thing is, I haven't been stable since the day I was born, never. My first move was when I was less than 1-year-old and the last one was one year ago, meaning that I have no idea how it is to settle down in one single place for your whole life. And that's where the first struggle comes in. Home. Where am I going to live when I grow up? Many people don’t worry about this because they are sure they will return to their roots, to their home, to the country where they were born and raised, but in my case, where is home? I was raised in many different countries. I could say I was born in Ecuador, but I moved when I was a little baby, so do I really feel identified with this country? Are these my roots? Definitely not. The second struggle would be stability. What does this mean? For me, it's very hard to define it. The only thing I know about stability is that I want it, but I just wonder if I could maintain it. During my whole life, I have never been stable in one place, I have been more like a nomad, changing my location all the time. So, can I handle stability? Sometimes I just think about how my life would have been if I stayed in Ecuador for the past 17 years, but then I remember how after living a while in a country, my natural instinct is waiting for the next move to happen, I am craving a change. So, will I be able to stay in college for 4 or 5 years? And after college, will I be able to live in one country for the rest of my life? Sounds scary to me. Many people say that home is where family is, and in one aspect, I totally agree. On the other hand, I have never lived in the same country as the rest of my family, meaning my cousins, aunts, grandparents. I see them once per year or every two years. And about my close family, I don't think it would be right to move every time my parents and sisters do so because how am I going to settle in one place and start a life if I keep moving around? Thus, I have no idea what I am going to do after college, I don't even know where I am going to study yet. But the only thing I can say right now is to enjoy the experience that I have been given and get the best out of all the travelling and instability I have been through. Maybe this has been a warm-up, a preparation for what is about to come. I just need to wait until that moment comes. Maybe destiny will lead me to one place, or maybe I will keep being a nomad for the rest of my life...
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Last week, I made a decision that will supposedly change my whole life. This decision was to drop the Peruvian program. How could this change my whole life? I still don't get it. But for the past 7 days the only thing I've been hearing from my parents, teachers, counselors and even some friends is, "you are closing so many doors for your future." Doors? Closure? Future? What do these words even mean? Well, what they meant is that by dropping this program, I am "closing the door" to all Latin American opportunities, in other words, I won't be able to study in any universities or to even get a job here in LA. In my opinion, this is not 100% valid because then, how do international students study and work here in Peru? I am sure the majority of them weren't in the Peruvian program. But don't get me wrong, this is not a criticism to the Peruvian program, or to the school's faculty, this is not a criticism at all. I just want to share a little bit of what I learned last week through this process of dropping the program. I realized that we take our decisions based on the future. We are not thinking about the moment, we are always thinking ahead, about what's about to come. I think we should all be aware of our future, being able to think long-term is definitely a skill we should all acquire. But of course, like everything else in life, it has a limit. If we have a life, it is to live it and enjoy it as much as we can, not to be worried about what may happen the next day, the next month or even the next year. That's why YOLO exists, a motto that motivates you to do everything you want to do and live the moment. Additionally, I noticed that we are not able to explore our passions and do the things we like because we are too worried about the consequences, about what will happen if... This is not the way it should be! If you like to play the piano and you want to be a professional pianist, then you should take music classes and apply to a university that recognizes this talent. But this is not what normally happens, people think about the future before thinking about themselves. Most of these people that wish to be pianists, end up studying Math, Science, Economics, and English because they want to be successful wealthy men. And many years later, they stop and realize that they grew old and they didn't enjoy their lives like they could have, how they wasted so many years doing things they didn't like, instead of choosing their passions. What happened to YOLO in these cases? The last four years of school are the most stressful years of your life because they make us believe that you have your entire future in your hands, you carry that pressure in your shoulders for so many years that at some point, you break down. Instead of taking the classes you are passionate about for the last years in school, you need to complete the requirements for graduation, that include taking classes you don't really enjoy. And again, all of this because of what? The future. Nowadays, everything we do affect our future. From what we ate for breakfast to who we hung out with that night, it all comes back to you in the future. When are we going to stop and start doing what we like, what we are passionate about? This is something I did last week, I dropped the Peruvian program, not because I had something against it, on the contrary, I actually enjoyed my spanish class. The reason I dropped it was because I am passionate about psychology, it is something I want to do in my future, in college, in my job and in my life. Yes, I may be taking the risk of "closing some doors" right now, but what I really want to do is to live the moment and enjoy my last years of school, my classes, my teachers and my friends. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
March 2017
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