Two years ago I participated in a religious retreat. I remember listening to one talk about the difference of feeling happy and being happy. They explained how you could feel happy by eating a delicious chocolate cake or receiving an award, but how this was just a temporary feeling. On the other hand, there was a choice of being happy. This meant being at a high and constant level of happiness throughout your life. As soon as the presentation ended, I--just like everybody else--wanted to live this perfect life. I wanted to be happy.
Over the next couple of days, I kept searching for this “eternal happiness.” Couldn’t find it. But one day, as we were singing religious songs with the whole group, I felt something. Something deep, something different. My mind was scared, but my soul was somewhere else. Where? I have no idea. The only thing I knew at the time was that I couldn’t get rid of the huge smile on my face. What was this feeling? Fulfillment. I can’t describe the feeling, I just know that I felt complete. I felt that I was at the apotheosis of my life. When I came back home, it was like a was a different person. I had developed a strong connection with myself, my values and my mind. For example, I had a facility to identify what was the right thing to do and I would act this way naturally. I felt stronger and had more self control. I could recognize temptation when I saw it and could ignore it very easily. At this point, I realized that “happiness” is just a vague but popular term being used nowadays. That’s why I decided I wanted to live a fulfilling life rather than a happy one. Happiness, as people know it, is supposed to make you and your life better and fulfilled. But let me ask you something… If a kid is addicted to drugs, is he going to feel happy every time he consumes it? Yes. Is that making him and his life better? Is it bringing fulfillment to his life? Of course not! I would even say that this consumption is making him more miserable each time. Societies sell the idea of “happiness” as something more than what it really is, and some people end up trapped in a hedonic treadmill or losing themselves because of this obsession to find it. The way I see it, happiness does not lead you to live a greater life. On the contrary, it can be frustrating to live your life in the search of the wrong thing. You may think you are looking for happiness, but in reality, you are looking for something else. You are looking for fulfillment. There is a misconception of the word “happiness.” From posters around the school to editions in the TIME magazine, we see this word everywhere. I can’t blame these people that go on the search of happiness, they just fall for what society tells them. These people have probably never felt fulfillment, that’s why they prefer to settle with the common and familiar word. If they would have, they would know that there is something greater than happiness and they wouldn’t be looking for it. Now, many people believe that his fulfillment that I’m talking about can only be found within religion. If you are one of these people, then I have good news for you… it is not! I found my fulfillment in religion, yes, but you can find it from other sources as well. For instance, Epicurus mentioned how people believed that happiness meant money and power. But he didn’t agree with it, he thought it meant friendship, freedom and thought. But let’s think about it… money and power can bring you happiness, but that temporary one. While friends, freedom and reflection can bring much more than that, they can fulfill you. So maybe this misconception of the word “happiness” existed long before we can imagine and that’s why Epicurus referred to this fulfillment as “happiness”, the popular word. Furthermore, Alain de Botton has another view on fulfillment. He also believes that happiness comes with specific events, temporarily. But he mentions that it is far more important to set goals and live a purposeful life. He believes that living a life where you work hard to achieve your goals, even if that means facing some difficult moments and suffering, will bring you fulfillment. This past year, I have been quite distant from my religion. This includes that feeling of fulfillment I had. But knowing how that felt like, I have a constant motivation to win it back. As a matter of fact, yesterday I talked to a priest and he’s helping me get back on track with religion. And let me confess something to you, as I was talking to this priest I already felt something. Something similar to the feeling I got two years ago in that religious retreat...
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