This past semester, I have been dealing with a type of struggle that I hadn’t faced before. You see, back in August I was told, in front of my class, that I was a negative force to the class environment. I was labelled.
At first, I was a little surprised since this was something I had never been told before. But what really caught my attention was that no one in the class opposed to what was being said. This led me to reflect and recognize that I might have been doing something wrong. Additionally, I was challenged into noticing that as a natural leader in the class I could easily transmit my negative vibe to others. This is when I decided that I wouldn’t let my behavior affect my classmates’ performances and so I began to take some action in order to improve my character. I began by writing down the three things I was thankful for every day and just saving some negative comments to myself. However, I realised that my label did not go away. It felt like there was a name written in my forehead that was exposed to everybody but was impossible to wash away. And this was when my frustration started to build up. The only thing I was able to do at that moment was torture myself with the idea that I was affecting all of my friends in a negative way. Therefore, I began to push myself a little harder and instead of just taking away the negativity, I decided to contribute with positivity. For example, I planned a scavenger hunt with a friend to bring our cohort together and share a nice moment with them. I also started congratulating my team on the small things they achieved and made sure they all knew I was there to help with a smile in my face. But then what happened was that by only giving positive comments as feedback, my team was not pushing themselves enough and they settled for mediocre job. Consequently, I got even more frustrated than before. So I did what I do whenever I feel this way, I took a deep breath and jot everything down. This helped my ideas organize and tranquility came back to me again. There was one idea that couldn’t leave my head, and it was the idea that by trying to change my character in this way, I wasn’t being honest to myself or to others. The truth is that we all tend to have our good and bad days. Days when we are able to spot an error in everything we do and days when it’s all rainbows and flowers. But regardless of whether it was a good or a bad day, I understood that what mattered was the way I communicated and delivered what I had to say. The message is important but so is the way it is transmitted. That is why I have been working on the way I express my feedback towards other people. And while doing this, I have been able to recognize that if a message is being communicated in a clear and positive way, its impact is much more significant and helpful to the person. I’m glad I’ve had the opportunity to learn this throughout the unit, not only because it helped me to collaborate more effectively with other people but because I have been able to work on a skill that I will use for the rest of my life. A skill that enables me to challenge others without bringing negativity to the environment. In terms of my label, I am confident that if I keep working hard on my communication, I will be able to wash it away.
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March 2017
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